Friday, 15th of August 2008 at 19:00

£8

A hapless rock group consisting of Charlie Fink (vocals/harmonica/guitar/ukele), Tom “Fiddle” Hobden (Fiddle), Urby (Harmonium/Bass), Laura Marling (Backing vocals) and Doug Fink (drums) hits a brick wall with their attempts to get their demo tape played by record label executives. Charlie, on the edge since being thrown out by his girlfriend, decides it’s time to take more serious action, and he leads his bandmates on a mission to invade the local “alternative” rock station, KPPX, and hold it hostage to get the band’s tape played on the air. The station staffers don’t realize that they’re being held with a water gun, and when they finally agree to play the tape, it gets eaten up by a faulty machine.

After a serious of hilarious events, they are able to release their debut single, while serving time in jail. While in jail Charlie befriends a wise convict from New England, who helps him through the difficult early days of his sentence. Charlie soon takes to his role as the jail’s financial wizard, but this attracts dangerous attentions from the warden, who wants him to help launder money through the prison accounts. This leads to murder, abuse and the near destruction of Charlie’s soul, but using his considerable educaton and the power of hope, he escapes and eventually is reunited with his friend, T-bone.

They start a shrimp business together, but something happens what i can’t remember and Sophie Nurse ironically dies of aids. Charlie does a lot of running in this period but after running into some trouble, he is sent to live with his auntie and uncle in bel air. No sooner has Charlie moved in when he discovers that his auntie is a Billy Joel fan. Back on the streets again he spends his last 20 bucks on a taxi to get the hell out of there.

After arriving in a smelly cab, his limp mysteriously disappears and he turns out to be his uncool but considerable more intelligent cousin, Carlton. Carlton is a criminal mastermind who has left many dead in his wake, including, sadly Sophie Nurse, who had been cryogenically frozen and returned to life as mel Gibson. In the brief window of time that she was alive, Charlie was able to know what women think, and discovered that in her head was an adult voice not unlike danny devito’s. To keep her legend alive she impregnates a beefy german, who doesn’t care about climate change. at this point al gore has won an oscar and britney spears is admitted to a private rehabilitation centre for her addiction to you can call me al by paul simon.